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Are Freshman Year Relationships Worth it?

Updated: Mar 15, 2023

Dear Future College Freshman,

Relationships can be so joyful, or they can lead you astray. I knew someone who was in an on-and-off relationship with her boyfriend during freshman year. Don’t get me wrong, I was always there for her, but it became irritating and distracting to hear her stories. I am a blunt person and was very honest with what was on my mind.

From my perspective, do not make being in a relationship during your freshman year a priority, as there are many other more important things to experience while in college. I never had a real relationship during my freshman year because I knew I was not ready for one, although I came really close on a few occasions. 

In the beginning of my freshman year I started talking to this guy, let's call him Will. We’d go out to eat on campus, talk on the phone, watch movies together, do the simple things. I asked him for his social media information, and he told me he didn’t have anything but Snapchat. I told my friends, and they were on the case, investigating what they could about Will. After some digging. we didn't find anything. Will claimed that he lived a different life than me. Again, being the blunt person I am, I asked him a lot of questions; like 'do you have a child or anything of that sort?'. For each question I asked, he told me no, giving me no reason, not to fully trust him. So I went along with it.

We were not official but we did like each other. One day he decided we needed to have 'a talk.' He came over and talked. He told me on a scale from 1 to 10 he liked me around an 8 or 9. I told him that I didn't like him as much as he liked me. He was more of a 4, and it'd take a while for me to get on the same level. He continued to ask me out several times, and told me that he was starting to fall or me. To be honest I was considering going out with him but to be clear I was not falling from him…I just liked him a little more than before.  

After more digging, my friends found out that he had a girlfriend and baby on the way. I didn't mind that he had a child but I was disturbed by the fact that he had a girlfriend. I felt very betrayed by his lies. It's very hard to trust a guy without social media. We did not speak for a while. He later texted me, to apologize and to say that he did not want us to stop talking. Mind you, we did stop. I still do not talk to him. But I heard he had a son, and they're doing well.

Lesson learned, do not get distracted by relationships and it can be time consuming and exhausting. Focus on your work, enjoy your time being free. You’re in college try a new hobby or have a small adventure with friends!

With lots of love,

Domo S.

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